For a second you see - and seeing the secret, are the secret.  For a second there is meaning!  Then the hand lets the veil fall and you are alone, lost in the fog again, and you stumble on toward nowhere, for no good reason!  It was a great mistake, my being born a man,  I would have been much more successful as a sea gull or a fish.  As it is, I will always be a stranger who never feels at home, who does not really want and is not really wanted, who can never belong, who must always be a little in love with death!

The making of a poet.  No, I'm afraid I'm like the guy who is always panhandling for a smoke.  He hasn't even got the makings.  He's got only the habit.  I couldn't touch what I tried to tell you just now.  I just stammered.  That's the best I'll ever do.  I mean, if I live.  Well, it will be faithful realism, at least.  Stammering is the native eloquence of us fog people.


Mama and Papa are right, I've been a rotten influence.  And worst of it is, I did it on purpose.  And it was your being born that started Mama on dope.  I know that's not your fault, but all the same, God damn you, I can't help hating your guts--!  But don't get me wrong, Kid.  I love you more than I hate you.  My saying what I'm telling you now proves it.  I run the risk you'll hate me -- and you're all I've got left.  Get me out of your life.  That's all.  Feel better now.  Gone to confesstion.  Know you absolve me, don't you, Kid?  You understand.  You're a damned fine kid.  Ought to be.  I made you.  So go and get well.  Don't die on me.  You're all I've got left.  God bless you, Kid.


前两段是Edmund的，第三段是Jamie的。在车上看得差点老泪纵横（喂！），真萌啊……家庭剧果然好虐> <