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新入手了kindle,兴冲冲地捧着看起书来,虽然目前好像还是看掉的文比较多,但看起书来感觉还是很不错的。看了少年派的电影之后就开始看小说,在读第一部分时简直五体投地,并且再次深深拜服了李安。那句You must be thirsty.的双关真是怎么想怎么喜欢。
kindle有个功能就是摘抄,但是对我来说,最能够让心里平静下来的果然还是自己动手,打字或者写字。我不知道明明已经开始放假了我在坐立不安个什么,但是这种阴燃的焦躁感实在是太让人难受了。这大概就是一个学期以来负能量的积聚吧。今天坐了同事的车去吃饭,同事让我帮忙看着倒车,结果我不知道怎么判断距离,同事的车和别人的蹭了。很是郁闷,觉得对不起同事,虽然对方说没事可还是觉得心里一定是不舒服的,又不知如何赔罪的好。
今天开会的时候看了一天的书,看到以下这部分的时候差点在会场上掉下眼泪来:
PR
A Dream Within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if Hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?


Sonnet -- To Science

Science! true daughter of Old Time thou art!
Who alterest all things with thy peering eyes.
Why preyest thou thus upon the poet's heart,
Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?
How should he love thee? or how deem thee wise?
Who wouldst not leave him in his wandering
To seek for treasure in the jewelled skies,
Albeit he soared with an undaunted wing?
Hast thou not dragged Diana from her car?
And driven the Hamadryad from the wood
To seek a shelter in some happier star?
Hast thou not torn the Naiad from her flood,
The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?


The Haunted Palace

In the greenest of our valleys
By good angels tenanted,
Once a fair and stately palace-
Radiant palace-reared its head.
In the monarch Thought's dominion-
It stood there!
Never seraph spread a pinion
Over fabric half so fair!

Banners yellow, glorious, golden,
On its roof did float and flow,
(This-all this-was in the olden
Time long ago,)
And every gentle air that dallied,
In that sweet day,
Along the ramparts plumed and pallid,
A winged odor went away.

Wanderers in that happy valley,
Through two luminous windows, saw
Spirits moving musically,
To a lute's well-tuned law,
Round about a throne where, sitting
(Porphyrogene!)
In state his glory well-befitting,
The ruler of the realm was seen.

And all with pearl and ruby glowing
Was the fair palace door,
Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
And sparkling evermore,
A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty
Was but to sing,
In voices of surpassing beauty,
The wit and wisdom of their king.

But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
Assailed the monarch's high estate.
(Ah, let us mourn!-for never morrow
Shall dawn upon him desolate!)
And round about his home the glory
That blushed and bloomed,
Is but a dim-remembered story
Of the old time entombed.

And travellers, now, within that valley,
Through the red-litten windows see
Vast forms, that move fantastically
To a discordant melody,
While, like a ghastly rapid river,
Through the pale door
A hideous throng rush out forever
And laugh-but smile no more.



 

P366

Then he said: "I don't see why it matters what is written.  Not when it's about people.  It can always be crossed out."
A breeze swept across the airfield.  Overhead, the assembled hosts rippled, like a mirage.
There was the kind of silence there might have been on the day before Creation.
Adam stood smiling at the two of them, a small figure perfectly poised exactly between Heaven and Hell.
Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's arm.  "You know what happened?" he hissed excitedly. "He was left alone!  He grew up human!  He's not Evil Incarnate or Good Incarnate, he's just ... a human incarnate--"



P397
Something told him that something was coming to an end.  Not the world, exactly.  Just the summer.  There would be other summers, but there would never be one like this.  Ever again.


P398

If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends.  And a summer that never ends.
And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot ... no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angle, half devil, all human ...
Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield ...
... forever.
永远能满足我对本命中心所有CP的脑补……

A hand is to be kissed with reverence,
The forehead – solemnly, with friendship,
The cheeks – with tender admiration,
And the lips be kissed with ardor,
While the eyes one kisses with languor,
The neck – with passionate desire,
And with a maddening delirium
All the rest is to be kissed.


-- Franz Grillparzer


Auf die Hande kust die Achtung, 手なら尊敬。
Freundschaft auf die offne Stirn, 額なら友情。
Auf die Wange Wohlgefallen, 頬なら厚意。
Sel'ge Liebe auf den Mund; 唇なら愛情。
Aufs geschlosne Aug' die Sehnsucht, 瞼なら憧れ。
In die hohle Hand Verlangen, 掌なら懇願。
Arm und Nacken die Begierde, 腕と首なら欲望。
Ubrall sonst die Raserei. それ以外は、狂気の沙汰。

Franz Grillparzer "Kus"(1819) フランツ・グリルパルツァー「接吻」(1819)


真想搞一个A中心吻之七题啊……
另外这是在搜这首诗时找到的另一个吻的意义:

髪へのキスは「思慕」
額へのキスは「祝福」
瞼へのキスは「憧憬」
耳へのキスは「誘惑」
鼻梁へのキスは「愛玩」
頬へのキスは「親愛」
唇へのキスは「愛情」
喉へのキスは「欲求」
首筋へのキスは「執着」
背中へのキスは「確認」
胸へのキスは「所有」
腕へのキスは「恋慕」
手首へのキスは「欲望」
手の甲へのキスは「敬愛」
掌へのキスは「懇願」
指先へのキスは「賞賛」
腹へのキスは「回帰」
腰へのキスは「束縛」
腿へのキスは「支配」
脛へのキスは「服従」
足の甲へのキスは「隷属」
爪先へのキスは「崇拝」

这下可多多啦!吻之三十题也可以搞出来啦!好喜欢TOT

这几天开始看《论罗马、死亡、爱》,蒙田的随笔集,很多的格言警句,有时候也觉得略有些绕脑……不过总体来说还是很萌的
不知是翻译、原作脑波还是个人脾性的关系,看蒙田不如看土豆家系的那么戳心戳肺……不过对于目前的我来说,差不多也够了

书里在《论预言》中有这么一段:

苏格拉底所说的魔鬼,可能是某种意愿的冲动。从他内心生出,不需要任何理性的解释。
……
每个人都会感到心中存在某些冲动的魔影,会急于提出直接、热烈、意料不及的意见。我必须对这些事看得很重,虽然我对人的智慧看得很轻。


大概因为是睡前看的,晚上总是适合胡思乱想的时候。突然就觉得,从03年起到现在,差不多十年,还是没什么出息地在同人圈打转,甚至最近还是像个中学生一样无法控制表达欲地写,哪怕知道自己写的都是废也继续在写,大概也正是由于inner demon这种东西无法祛除吧。
前几天看到一个很棒的网站,激励人写作的网站。稍稍看了一眼小说的心跳,作者说,你必须找到自己真正需要表达的东西,正视自己的恐惧和愤怒,让自己的inner demon来驱动作品。顿时突然明白了为什么自己写的东西都是平面的,因为我始终还是无法面对自己最糟糕的一面吧,因为在三次元的打磨之下,神经已经失去了原本的那种过敏的毛病了吧。虽然如果可以的话,我也不想回到学生时代一个人在家读College Pressure读得大哭那种几天就情绪崩溃一次的情况,现在大部分时间可以做到在高强度压力之下保持情绪稳定,不过慢慢地钝化,大概也是我的必经之路。
这种漂浮于真实世界之上的想法,本身就是中二病万年好不了的症状之一吧www

书里还有这样一段:

 

必须等待他的最后时刻,
死亡与葬礼之前,
谁都不敢说幸福与不幸福。
——奥维德
 

仿佛命运有时刚好瞅上我们生命的最后一天,为了显示威风,把花费多年心血建成的东西毁于一瞬间;使我们在拉布利乌斯之后叫喊:“显然,今日是我不该超过寿命多活的一天。”
因而梭伦这句金玉良言必须理性对待。但是他是哲学家;对于哲学家来说,命运的恩宠与失宠无所谓幸福与不幸福,荣名与权势都看得很淡漠。我认为实际上他看得更远,要说我们的人生幸福取决于有教养人的安详和满足,练达者的果断与自信,只要一个人尚未演完人生戏剧中的最后一幕——无疑也是最难的一幕——就不应当说他幸福或不幸福。
此外,凡事皆有掩饰。哲学中的漂亮言辞只是让我们做人体面;而那些意外也没有真正刺中要害,让我们还能保持神色不变。但是在死亡与我们之间这场最后的对手戏,不是装腔作势所能应付的,必须实话实说,抖露出罐底里装的真货色,

唯有那时从心底涌出了真话,
面具跌落,露出本相。
——卢克莱修

这是为什么人生中一切其他行为都必须用这块最后的试金石检验的原因。这是主的日子,这是一切的审判日;一位古人说,这一天对我从前的岁月作出审判。我让死神来检验我的研究心得。我们将可看到我的言论出自嘴皮子还是出自心田。


这一段看得真是醍醐灌顶。
几年前看《历史》的时候,就被梭伦这段话一击必杀。昨天和wing姑娘聊天,说到Merlin的结局,对于亚瑟的终局,我其实完全不在乎他是不是会死,反倒说我甚至有点希望他就这么死去,但唯一的祈求就是死得漂亮。
前几天看到阿全和H子吐糟:“又死了啊?不愧是我喜欢的男人。”然后发现这一点对我来说也完全适用。我对我所有喜欢的角色,希求的都是一个漂亮的谢幕。(手冢除外,人家毕竟只是个普通的中学生而已啊……)在双子兄身上最典型,他一生做过那么多好事坏事,但最后让我掉坑的就是他的两次死亡。各个作品中我的本命,多多少少也都有点毁灭性结局的倾向,要么是死鬼,要么是半个死鬼,要么他对象是死鬼,要么总有一天会变成死鬼,而且没死的经常也会被我在同人里搞成死鬼。昨天看到这一段后,突然觉得我那么扭曲的爱好,完全也是justifiable了嘛……

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